BATHROOMS: In the world’s cans

Everyone’s gotta GO at some point, so here are some of my most memorable bathrooms:

PARIS - This is a sanisette, found on most major streets. Drop 40 cent euro in the slot and the door slides open. Once you’re inside, a sensor closes and locks the door.

After you finish your business and leave, the door shuts and a high-pressure disinfectant spray automatically cleans the toilet!

But don’t try to cheat the system, even if you’re out of change. Some friends of ours tried to prop the door open to sneak in a second session - and she got attacked by disinfectant.

Apparently, the city of Paris has started to convert the pay toilets to free earlier this year. Bonus!

GAOCHANG, CHINA - This is as close as I could get to these bathrooms without gagging. Thus, no close-ups. They LOOK upscale for the middle of the Gobi desert but really they’re just glorified holes in the ground.

Still, it beats peeing on ancient ruins.

As always, I followed the rules of the squat toilet: bring your own Kleenex, roll up the pant legs to above the knees, take a deep breath and hold as long as possible while doing the bizness. Retreat outside and rub hands with sanitizer.

CHICAGO - This is my latest happy find. The toilets at the O’Hare airport have automatic changing seat covers.

Wave your hand over the sensor on the wall, and a new plastic seat cover slides neatly into place. Very sanitary. I like it.

 

PARIS: Fast Food

France is known for its fine cuisine — and we had our lovely share of saucy rabbit dishes, coq au vin and fresh baguettes — but I must confess to falling in love with Quick. Yes, it’s a fast-food joint, but it’s fast-food at its best.

My favourite was the Club Chèvre: focaccia bread with real goat-cheese from the region of Charente-Poitou, tomatoes and a sauce provençale. Beat that, McDonald’s!

You’ve got your choice of burgers too. The signature Giant burger comes with endive and the Suprême Cheese boasts 2 slices of melted emmenthal. Desserts include soft serve ice cream and fruit salad with mango, papaya and kiwi. Only the French, eh?

Founded in Belgium, the chain has restaurants in France, Andorra, Luxembourg and Morocco.

 

PARIS: Lardoons

Still hungry after a dinner of Chinese food near the Pompidou Centre, we stumbled upon an Italian place on the way back to our hotel in the Marais district. We ordered a “snack” and ended up with a gigantic four-cheese pizza with lardoons. According to my passable French (learned in Acadian New Brunswick no less) and the adorable waiter, the lardoons were some sort of pork.

The pizza was just heavenly. And the restaurant is a cool, cheap place to grab a decent hearty meal in the middle of Paris.

PS: I later found out lardoons are bacon that’s been diced, blanched and fried. Yum.

Pizza Sant’Antonio: 1 rue de la Verrerie 75004 PARIS :: 01 42 77 78 47