Jason Goes to White Castle

I haven’t been doing much on the eating and travelling front lately, but Jason’s been on the road near Chicago and sent me these photos from his cell phone. He has a strange affinity for mini burgers, so he felt compelled to pull off the interstate highway because he saw a sign for White Castle.

Living in Canada, we knew little about the fast-food chain other than it’s the inspiration for the hilarious Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

I did a little Internet research. White Castle uses frozen square patties. It cooks them using its “steam grilled” method. The patties are placed on top of a bed of dehydrated onions as heat and steam rises up from the grill. They’re not flipped. If you look closely you can see four holes in the patty. That’s to speed up the cooking.

So here’s Jason’s (paraphrased) account of his White Castle experience:

“The girl that came and helped me was in the middle of scrubbing some kind of bucket… Then she went over to the steam bath and started flipping burgers.

The hamburgers were 51 cents each. It was just a plain old dinner bun, and the patty was so thin. I ordered four of them. They looked just pathetic.

The burgers taste like boiled meat - boiled dog food, if I had to guess what it tastes like, I’d guess that.

I also noticed they had some kind of other sandwiches that looked like they were made of chicken nuggets, I bet they were gross too.”

I guess I didn’t miss much.

White Castle, various locations in north-central and northeastern U.S.

 

CHICAGO: Hey, soda jerk!

Eleven City Diner started off in my good books when an Epstein-lookalike wearing a pork pie hat greeted us at the door.

A sign on each table explained how the owner grew up around Jewish delis in NYC and so wanted to recreate that here. The sleek diner has high ceilings, roomy booths and a long shiny counter. Unfortunately, that main area was full at 3 p.m. so we had to sit in one of two booths by the kitchen.

Our waitress was great, but from our position, we could hear a full-blown argument between two other staff, and another server complaining about how tired she was. Too bad.

We tried to focus on our fountain drinks, pulled by an in-house soda jerk. I know about soda fountains only from books and movies, so we went for what the kids back then would’ve ordered.

My egg cream tasted like a watery, less bubbly ice cream float. Despite the name, it’s actually made of chocolate syrup, milk and seltzer.

Jason got a chocolate phosphate - an original version of today’s soft drinks. It’s a mix of soda water, flavoured syrup and phosphoric acid that adds fizz. He says it tasted like “metal and chocolate,” slightly more fizzy than my egg cream but much less than a Coke.

Kids today, they don’t know how good they have it.

The food was good - especially the patty melt - half pound of lean ground beef with sauteed onions and cheddar on grilled rye. There’s a deli counter for take-out including pastrami and corned beef.

I liked the nostalgic drinks but the unprofessional behind-the-scenes disruptions ruined the atmosphere a little. Jerks.

Eleven City Diner, 1112 S. Wabash Ave., Chicago, (312) 212-1112. Open Mon-Thurs 7:30 am-11 pm, Fri 7:30 am-3 am, Sat 9 am-3 am, Sunday 9 am-9 pm.

 

CHICAGO: Hallelujah, pass the grits

Yes, the House of Blues is a chain. Yes, the gospel brunch is a gimmick. But where else can I see a real gospel choir while stuffing my face with fried chicken?

Our tickets said 10 a.m. seating but at 10, we had to stand in the folk art-decorated foyer and suffer through an awful comedy/sales pitch act by some guy who called himself Cupcake or Muffin. Whatever. It wasn’t funny.

Thankfully, things got better from there. Seating is reserved so there’s no mad scramble. The lineups for the Southern-style buffet and waffle/omelette stations were orderly and there was no danger of the food running out. Coffee, orange juice and water were already on our cute table for two.

Among the standard scrambed eggs and bacon, there was:

• jambalaya
• buttermilk biscuits with country gravy
• Southern fried chicken
• creamed grits
• bread pudding with whiskey sauce

The grits and Southern fried chicken stood out for me, probably because I don’t usually get to eat them.

Of course, there’s always the problem of buffet food going cold too fast once it’s on your plate but what can you do.

But the food is really second to the music. About 45 minutes into our meal, the show began.

The singers were amazing. While this was in essence entertainment to most of us, the choir looked like they were truly enjoying themselves offering their music as worship.

We were encouraged to wave our napkins and yell hallelujah. We did our best but the mostly white, mostly tourist crowd stuck to foot-tapping and polite clapping.

House of Blues, 329 N. Dearborn, Chicago, (312) 923-2000. Gospel brunch $38 - 43 US all inclusive per person.

 

CHICAGO: Canadian-friendly shopping

If you google Wicker Park/Bucktown, the same descriptions come up - “a hipster community” more recently gentrified by yuppies moving in. I’m a hipster yuppie. Sounds like my kinda place.

We took the L blue line to Damen and came out in the middle of Wicker Park where Milwaukee, Damen and North Avenues meet. You know you’re in the right place when you see this triangular Coyote building.

Right across from it is the shorter Flat Iron Arts Building, also triangular but full of artists and galleries often open to the public on weekends.

We were already finding Chicago extremely friendly. This area, full of cool independent stores, is very Canadian-friendly.

City Soles + Niche is right by the L station. This was a shoe-lovers heaven. Very high-end, gorgeous designer shoes for both sexes - with high-end prices to match.

As soon as we walked in, the saleswoman chatted us up and learned we were visiting from Canada. She grew up in Washington state, so we talked about Vancouver and how much we missed the West Coast weather. Then she gave us tips on the best stores to visit in the neighbourhood.

Moving on, we found Detail by Akira, an accessory and men’s shoe store. The salesgirl there was interested in how far Alberta was from Toronto, the only Canadian city she knew about.

Jason got two hats and two pairs of great shoes on sale. As I moaned about how it’s too bad the store had no women’s shoes, the salesgirl told us about their women’s shoe store down the street, and gave me a $10 off coupon.

The salespeople at Akira Bucktown Footwear were giddy when they found out where we were from. One of their colleagues on break was Canadian so they figured having comrades in the store would make her happy. She was pretty excited.

Anyway, the shoes here are fabulous and prices are reasonable. The shoes I wanted didn’t quite fit, but they gave me a coupon for their women’s clothing store half a block away.

Akira Bucktown Women is a spacious place with trendy mid-range priced clothes and a whole room dedicated to brand-name jeans - and on that day, my very own gay stylist firmly focused on jeans best suited for my butt.

At the cash desk, we got invited to some fashion show/fundraiser the store was organizing. Then because of our total purchases at ALL the Akira stores, we ended up with a $30 gift certificate - which we then spent at their men’s clothing location.

Akira’s brilliant cross-store marketing got us to spend money in all of their locations - and we happily fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Us Canadians, eh?

Akira Bucktown Women, 1837 W North Ave., Chicago, (773) 489-0818. The other locations within three blocks on W North Ave.
City Soles + Niche, 1566 N Damen Ave., Chicago, (773) 489-2001.

 

FONDUE: Dipping your dinner

Only in the land of ridiculously large portions would a restaurant chain thrive on offering steaming pots of cheese and chocolate. The Melting Pot sells fondues - that Swiss invention of dipping your dinner - and has 70 locations in the U.S.

Wandering hungry around downtown Chicago, we thought the dark wood and large wine cellar meant this was some new fancy-schmancy fusion-food jazz-bar type place.

We didn’t realize this was a chain until we got the spiel. Pick a combination meal or order a la carte - though tsk tsk that’s not the better deal. Pick a cheese fondue (mixed at your table!), pick a salad (homemade dressing!), pick a cooking style (”Coq au Vin is verrry popular!”), pick a main entree.

This would be a nightmare for people who can’t make decisions. But we are not that. We order the three-course Fondue for Two (aww!) at $54 US. Besides who’s going to start a fight over a hot burner in the middle of the table.

I think you have to like to talk to work here. The server mixes our Wisconsin Trio Cheese Fondue, explaining each ingredient with gusto. Fontina! Butterkase! Blue cheese! White wine! Sherry!

So I’m dunking hunks of bread into a big pot of melted cheese. What is there NOT to like about this?

The salads come. They’re big and good.

Despite the healthier broth fondues, we choose the Fondue Bourguignonne - basically a pot of canola oil. Our Pacific Rim plate comes with marinated sirloin, peppered duck breast, boneless chicken, pork tenderloin, shrimp and potstickers. Then there are at least 8 dipping sauces and 2 batters.

We get another spiel on how not to give yourself food poisoning, and then we’re off. We keep our fondue forks busy, spearing meat pieces and cooking them in our bubbling pot of oil. This is pretty fun and pretty tasty.

We pass on dessert, though I’m sure sweet-tooths would have a field day with the 8 different chocolate fondues.

Parts of the night sounded like an infomercial but really, the Melting Pot has simplified fondues for fine dining. It’s easy, it’s fun and I don’t have to clean up after.

The Melting Pot, various U.S. locations.

 

BATHROOMS: In the world’s cans

Everyone’s gotta GO at some point, so here are some of my most memorable bathrooms:

PARIS - This is a sanisette, found on most major streets. Drop 40 cent euro in the slot and the door slides open. Once you’re inside, a sensor closes and locks the door.

After you finish your business and leave, the door shuts and a high-pressure disinfectant spray automatically cleans the toilet!

But don’t try to cheat the system, even if you’re out of change. Some friends of ours tried to prop the door open to sneak in a second session - and she got attacked by disinfectant.

Apparently, the city of Paris has started to convert the pay toilets to free earlier this year. Bonus!

GAOCHANG, CHINA - This is as close as I could get to these bathrooms without gagging. Thus, no close-ups. They LOOK upscale for the middle of the Gobi desert but really they’re just glorified holes in the ground.

Still, it beats peeing on ancient ruins.

As always, I followed the rules of the squat toilet: bring your own Kleenex, roll up the pant legs to above the knees, take a deep breath and hold as long as possible while doing the bizness. Retreat outside and rub hands with sanitizer.

CHICAGO - This is my latest happy find. The toilets at the O’Hare airport have automatic changing seat covers.

Wave your hand over the sensor on the wall, and a new plastic seat cover slides neatly into place. Very sanitary. I like it.

 

CHICAGO: Art from all angles

I’m a nerd. I took art history in high school - one year earlier than allowed. Flying buttresses and surrealism excite me, so to be surrounded by the stuff I studied is nerd heaven.

But you don’t have to be a geek to appreciate Chicago’s architecture. From the skyscrapers to classically detailed buildings to Frank Lloyd Wright’s simple open homes, the designs here influenced the rest of the world. It’s all breathtaking.

ART FROM THE RIVER

The best views are from an architectural cruise along the Chicago river. Sure, it’s a tourist thing but it’s worthwhile.

We took the “official” tour sanctioned by the Chicago Architecture Foundation and hosted by a volunteer docent. Anybody who loves architecture enough to VOLUNTEER for 90-minute tour, three times a day is worth listening to, I think.

Our boat’s open top deck with no cover overhead meant we sizzled during the heat wave. A few other boats cruised by with canopies. I envied their shade until I heard their guides talking loudly like wannabe radio DJs, in love with their own voices and rattling off memorized facts.

I may be getting sunstroke but damned if I have to sit there and listen to some irritating dork. Our guide was smart, entertaining and truly passionate about what she was doing. We win!

First Lady Architecture Cruises, departs from Michigan Avenue and Wacker Drive.

ART FROM THE GROUND

I arrived at the Art Institute of Chicago Museum after a sudden and short thunderstorm. I rolled up the wet legs of my jeans and squished up to the second floor. But I didn’t feel inappropriate like I would if I was roaming the Louvre and its ancient masterpieces.

This place is fresh. Like if the Louvre made Buick commercials, then this museum would be behind Volkswagen ads. The security guards are less crabby-looking too.

I did the quick Ferris Bueller tour and hit the “famous” pieces, especially the 18th-century and Impressionist paintings. Like visiting your grandma first before you go clubbing with your friends.

There’s a great energy here (look, I already said I was a nerd) and I think the vibe comes from the 20th-century collection - amazing works by Picasso, Modigliani, and Georgia O’Keeffe.

It was also fun to see such a big American collection that showed contemporary artists as well as Mexican and African painters I’ve never seen in established museums.

I wish I could remember what this painting was called. At first, it looks like a completely black canvas but if you look closer you can see the back of a head with a mohawk, tattoos and body markings. Very cool.

Also cool is this small section called American Decorative Art. It looked like a fabulous retro furniture store except these are the original designs.

My only regret is not being able to see Marc Chagall’s stained-glass America Windows. They were taken down because of renovations in the area.

Art Institute of Chicago Museum, 111 South Michigan Ave. Check for hours and admission.

ART ON THE STREET

The joy of Chicago though is you can go visit a Chagall on the street! He gave the city a mosaic in 1974. Made of glass and stone, The Four Seasons is a triumphant jolt of life and colour in a downtown surrounded by office towers.

Just a few blocks away, you can also see outdoor sculptures by Picasso and Joan Miro. Only in Chicago.

Four Seasons by Chagall, First National Plaza at Dearborn and Monroe Streets
Untitled by Picasso, Daley Plaza, 50 W. Washington St.
Chicago by Miro, 69 W. Washington St.

 

CHICAGO: Windy city delicacies

This is a genuine Chicago-style hot dog. And it’s goooood. Savory and sharp, crunchy and soft, fresh and hot doggy.

The Chicago-style hot dog is all-beef, steamed or boiled, and served with mustard, relish, chopped onion, a pickle spear, tomato slices, sport peppers and a sprinkle of celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun.

But no ketchup. Apparently it’s sacrilege. Something about overpowering the hot dog or being redundant with the sweet relish. The dog of choice is made by Vienna Beef.

I’m used to buying hot dogs from street vendors. But here, it seems you can only get them from proper places with doors and counters.

We stopped at a tiny place in Wicker Park called Swank Frank. I’m a sucker for retro rhymes. The hot dog combo with fries and a drink was $4.95 US I think.

I wanted to get a deep-fried twinkie too (did you know the Twinkie factory is in Chicago??) but my boyfriend talked me out of it. Darn.

He did however convince me to try the city’s famous deep dish pizza. I wasn’t really in a mood for cheese, but hey, it’s gotta be famous for a reason right?

We went to the new original location of Gino’s East downtown. Two taxi drivers mad at rush hour traffic opened it in 1966. But I guess they moved and then just recently opened a location back where it all started.

Happily, we didn’t have to wait for a table. There’s a big sign encouraging everyone to write on the walls. Handy if you happen to have a Sharpie burning a hole in your pocket or purse. I only had some Kleenex and gum.

The waitress kindly warned us any deep dish would take 45 minutes. We got the small cheese and traditional patty-style sausage deep dish ($13.75 US for about 4 slices). Normally we’d order a medium but she assured us that would be too much.

I was grateful for the intervention. The pizza was thick. Thick with sausage patty that covers the whole bottom, then cheese, and then crushed tomatoes on top.

Gino’s East is famous for its deep golden yellow crust - a supposed secret recipe. It’s crunchy more than chewy and surely has cornmeal in it.

The deep dish was tasty but not phenomenal. The hot dogs I’d move here for.

Swank Frank, 1589 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, (773) 862-4000. Open Tues-Sun 11 am-5 am, Sun-Mon 11 am-midnight.
Gino’s East, 162 E. Superior, Chicago, (312) 266-DEEP.

 

CHICAGO: Shop and lunch

Marshall Field’s isn’t just a department store. It’s a destination. From a dry goods store in 1852 to now the second largest department store in the U.S., there’s a history there in the Great Clock and the Tiffany glass ceiling at its flagship State Street location.

The building is fabulous but the 10 floors of shopping are pretty darn good with ultra-nice salespeople to boot. Plus there are convenient bathrooms and air conditioning. Did I mention there was a heat wave?

On the seventh floor is Seven on State, the store’s upscale food court. Different stations make the entrees fresh to order. I grabbed a smoked ham and gruyere cheese panini on sourdough from the La Brea Bakery counter. It came with a side salad for $6.95 US.

The sandwich was pretty good but even better was the great downtown view from the huge windows. There are also tables facing the inside of the store with a view of the glass ceiling and the different floors.

You can also check out Frontera Fresco from local Mexican food dude Rick Bayless if you’re a foodie type.

It’s peaceful up here. And I’ve never seen staff bus tables so fast and so pleasantly.

Marshall Field’s was the first department store to open a sit-down restaurant. The Walnut Room on the seventh floor is still a swanky option.

The basement cafeteria is a great stop for a break and a deal. Just follow the smells of home-cooking. The deli counter offers ribs, meatloaf and roast chicken. There’s also an impressive create-your-own salad station, a fresh sushi counter, and a dessert station with pretty cupcakes.

Oh yeah, Macy’s bought Marshall Field’s and is changing the name in September 2006. Who knows what else might change.

Marshall Field’s, 111 N. State St. Open Mon-Sat 10 am-8 pm, Sun 11 am-6 pm.

 

CHICAGO: Heat wave

Oh Chicago, you are one hot city. My first visit coincided with a heat wave (40 C/104 F!) - and the Gay Games VII (12,000 athletes!). Amid the stifling humidity, I gained a whole new appreciation for air conditioning.

But I was in gung-ho tourist mood. The shiny bean in Millennium Park beckoned. The giant sculpture is actually called Cloud Gate, a gorgeous reflection of the skyline and the clouds. But it looks like a bean and so that’s what most people call it. You can also walk under its arch and make faces.

Just south of the bean is the coolest urban fountain I’ve ever seen. The Crown Fountain is made up of two huge towers with a kind of wading pool in the middle.

Faces of Chicago’s residents are projected on screens on the two towers, and every few minutes it looks like one of the faces is spitting and water comes pouring out of his or her mouth. It makes the kids scream with glee every time.

Even with my feet in the water, I was sweltering. I trooped on to see the Jay Pritzker Pavillion, an outdoor stage designed by Frank Gehry. It’s so cool that I went back on my last day hoping to hear a concert through the unique surround-sound. But I kept missing stuff.

Millennium Park is a great place to get a basic sense of how Chicago embraces art, music, architecture and design. Plus it’s got lots of shade and fountains to stick your feet in.

I admit I wandered across the street to the Chicago Cultural Center looking for air conditioning. As I walked into the great hall and up the stone staircase, I heard singing! I found myself on the second-floor atrium stunned by the gorgeous glass dome - and the San Francisco Gay Men’s Choir belting it out in tuxedos.

Turns out the center sponsors a free lunchtime concert every weekday at 12:15 pm. How cool is that!

There’s also a free gallery on the ground floor and a visitor’s centre with very handy maps and info. And air conditioning, in case you need it.

Millennium Park, Michigan Avenue /Columbus Drive/Randolph Street/Monroe Street
Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington St.