I promise this will be my last Air Canada rant. I have the kind of personality that can easily be consumed by the airline’s amazing ability to offer awful service, so I have to set some limits.

Today, I checked an oversized framed painting onto a flight from Vancouver. At the counter, the agent said, “Oh, I don’t have any fragile stickers. Oh well, you’ve marked the package with big letters.”

I got onto the plane and two flight attendants were too busy chatting to each other at the doorway to offer a scant good morning. In fact, without a word or warning, one of them stepped right in front of me to get newspapers from an overhead bin. Oh I’m sorry, was I in your way?

Before takeoff, the passenger next to my boyfriend set his coffee cup down by his feet for a second. The flight attendant asked if he was done with it and he said no. So then she said, “Make sure you take that with you when you leave.”

She must’ve been too busy upholding Air Canada’s professional image, what with the two missing buttons on the sleeve of her natty blazer.

During the flight, some lucky few (business flyers I think) could choose anything they wanted from the food trolley! Free! Up to a value of $4! Whatta deal. Two bags of cashews for your patronage.

When I landed in Edmonton, I went into Air Canada’s baggage office to check where I could pick up my painting. No one was at the counter.

I walked into the back which smelled like hamburgers, stood behind a guy pecking at his computer and said “Excuse me” three times. He finally turned around and looked annoyed that I had the nerve to even speak to his mulletted highness. God forbid that you interact with your customers at all.

Why? Why?