Train travel is one of the cheapest ways to see China. It is also one of the most aggravating.

Lining up on a train platform is the best way to rub shoulders with real Chinese citizens. And it ain’t pretty. I can guarantee you will be shoved, elbowed and stepped on. The driving mentality in any lineup in this country is to get as close as possible to the front. It doesn’t matter where the lineup is going or what it leads to. They don’t care.

Case in point. We had lined up patiently at the doors leading to our train platform for Jiayuguan. A group of four men started trying to push into the middle of our group.

“Hey! What are you doing?” yelled my dad.

“We’re getting into the line! We’ve got tickets!” they yelled back.

There ensued a very long, very loud argument. Despite the fact a ticket collector came to our aid, and the fact the men had tickets to a different train and a different platform, they were incensed that they weren’t allowed to budge into our line.

Train stop

Once the doors opened, it was chaos. Everyone sprinted to the train — old ladies dragging little kids, men with huge bags on their shoulders — they bolted.

We had paid a little extra for assigned seats in a non-smoking car. Well, we soon figured out why the footrace to the train. All of our reserved seats were taken. It took my dad, another tour guide and two police officers all using their “forceful” voices before the seat thieves reluctantly took their stuff and left.

I can’t imagine what travelling by train would be like if we weren’t with my parents and their friends who can all hold their ground in Mandarin.

We settled into our seats and enjoyed four hours of intermittent horking (I shudder to think exactly where the hork was going), smoking (in our non-smoking car) and people’s dirty socks and shirts hung up on the curtain rods.